this is how it goes...

I finally started to lose weight. Fucking finally. controling the intake of calories, controling what I ate, being best friends with water. My friends at school is yelling at me for checking calories in everything all the time. So what. She does not get it. I feel like getting back in control again.
On the other hand, getting back to my old habits worries me more and more every day. Drinking too much. Cutting. I'm so pathetic, it all makes me want to laugh at myself. I was almost normal already. And now it's all getting weird.

I can't seem to organise my thoughts, words just run from my mouth too fast, like throwing up. I feel like I'm spinning and I get dizzy, I want to get off this freakin' merry - go - round, but I don't know the way out... Like I'm me and not me at the same time.

Music music music, all day long. Foals, Cassius is stuck in my head and won't go out. Let it be. It's a nice song.